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| I have forgotten what it was like to have a head swelling and swarming with tons of thoughts. All of them far too complex to grasp, and amongst it all... The one feeling I see and know... the knowledge that something in my life isn't right. I don't feel right at all. If anyone needs to take my "...need a hug?" tagline question into consideration, it's me. Something is definitely not right with me, and something is going on. I haven't the slightest idea of what it could possibly be. I'm far to stressed to even consider thinking about it. Between a 40 hour work week, quitting the only job I've had for two years, and leaving some of the best co-workers around for a job that could lead nowhere but up for me right now... gosh. I miss everything and everyone. I miss best friends whom I haven't seen in upwards of six months or more. I miss being around that group of friends that didn't care how you were, but who. Nothing is the same anymore, and I need a reset button. I wish I could "revert to saved". I have become overwhelmed by everything and have no real reason to have become this way. I need a nap, a hug, and perhaps somewhat of a grasp of reality. A good cup of coffee in a nice, calm coffee shop wouldn't exactly be turned down either... I appreciate you for reading this...
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| Well hello wonderful world of xanga. How long has it been? Too long I believe. Myspace has taken over now. Sort of sad. Many people can't live without some retarded *** "Picture Comment", or "Friend Request"... they have this everyone so addicted to this crap, they often times forget why they have the thing in the first place. I am willing to throw myself to the top of that list. So irritating. Gr... No real meaning to what I've said, but I've said it. Oh, and Caitlin... if you read this, I love you.
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| Here you go man, here's your update...written by myself, especially for you...So things are interesting in my world right about now...feelings, thoughts, interesting things, work, guitar...but aside from the new things, it's pretty much the way it used to be. School starts soon...nervousness, and a large unsettling feeling have gathered themselves in my mind, and the pit of my stomach due to the fact that I really don't feel prepared for my world ahead...and sometimes I feel as though I don't have someone beside me to support me. It's my disease...I'm crippled with deteriorating eyes. I know this because I am most definitely sure that there are plenty of those loved ones around me ready to support me. So...as I said earlier, things are interesting in my world. I'm surrounded by so many people whom I really don't know are there. They're so quiet, I can't hear them, and I am blind...so my ability to see them is definititely hindered. Hopefully I'll be able to get some of my vision back soon, but I doubt that will happen. Enjoy your evening, and thanks for reading.
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| -"Gravity"-
Gravity
pull me down
like you always do
never fails
always pulls through
Gravity
You push me around
You pull me down
when all I want to do is fly
But one day,
Gravity...
I'll break you
and when I do...
I'll soar
-"Gravity"-
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| Well, the poem I was working on, fell through the floor and I hated it, and I wrote one in English today, so here it is.
"My Phoenix"
I lay wounded on the floor
as I wait for my phoenix forever more
a pool of my blood collects beside me
as I wait for my phoenix to set me free
here she comes, flying through the air
her gorgeous image, so prominant and fair
I need her now, more than ever before
as more of my blood collects on the floor
She finally arrives, and watches me bleed
all while I wonder how she will feed my need
I wait patiently as she lets me be
while I wait for my phoenix to set me free
She turns her head, and saturates a sense
then I watch the healing of my wounds commence
in a matter of seconds, my health is replenished
the scar is gone, and the pain is deminished
Dear phoenix, you drowned me in your tears
you evacuated my worst fears
without you, I'd be dead on the floor
I owe thanks to you, dear phoenix, forever more...
"My Phoenix"
There it is. I am extremely anxious to read what people have to say about this, so please leave comments. I will be looking forward to them.
ApoeT
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